You know what's been pissing me off lately? The need to
dictate how women should have orgasms. Specifically, I'm talking about the
controversy over clitoral vs. vaginal orgasms.
For years, Stuart Brody has been doing research, purporting
to show that vaginal orgasms are superior to clitoral orgasms. But, goddamn it,
he can't even get his terminology right. He defines a vaginal orgasm as one
that occurs during penis-in-vagina sex, without simultaneously 'masturbating'
the clitoris. The problem is, this definition tells us nothing about whether
the orgasm was triggered through clitoral stimulation or vaginal stimulation.
Here's how I know. A male friend told me about an
ex-girlfriend who was amazing in bed, because she could have 'vaginal' orgasms.
Of course, I wanted to know her secret. He said she had to be on top, and she
would grind her clit against his pubic bone until she got off. How was this a
vaginal orgasm? It wasn't. It was a penis-in-vagina orgasm, it was a NO HANDS
orgasm, but it was obviously clitoral in origin. A true vaginal orgasm is not simply one that occurs during PIV sex. It needs to be triggered by something other than the clitoris.
Let's look at some female anatomy. What we call the clitoris
is really just the head of the clitoris. Most of the clitoris is internal to
the woman's body. The clitoris develops out of the same fetal tissue that forms
the penis in males. The head of the clitoris is analogous to the head of the
penis. The tissue that, in males, develops into the shaft of the penis, in
females, develops into the shaft and legs of the clitoris. The clitoral shaft
is inside the woman's body, and extends back from the head of the clitoris,
splitting into two legs on either side of the vaginal opening.
When a woman has a vaginal
orgasm, meaning an orgasm that isn't triggered by stimulation of the head of
the clitoris, it is actually triggered by stimulation of the root of the
clitoris (which comes close to the front wall of the vagina) or stimulation of
the legs of the clitoris (on either side of the vaginal opening). That's right,
a vaginal orgasm is still brought on by parts of the clitoris.
Let's do a thought experiment (even better, if you are a man
or if you have a man handy, you could try this experiment in real life). Can a
man have an orgasm through stimulation of only the shaft of the penis, with no
touching of the head of the penis? This would be equivalent to a vaginal
orgasm.
My guess is that, yes, many men could have orgasms by
stimulating only the penile shaft. In fact, I would venture to hypothesize that
the percentage of men who could have orgasms in this way would be almost
identical to the percentage of women who have vaginal orgasms! That is, about
25% of women have never had a vaginal orgasm, another 75% occasionally or
sometimes have one, and 25% almost always have one.
So why don't we have any real data about men and their
ability to have penile-shaft-only orgasms? Because men don't stand for this
kind of crap, that's why! If anyone is telling men that their orgasms are
'wrong,' men aren't listening.
Next post, I'll summarize Brody's research on vaginal
orgasms. It's actually quite interesting, even though the conclusions I would draw
from his data are diametrically opposed to the conclusions he draws.
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