the 'house MILF' debacle

Someone claiming to be a group of male University of Vermont students posted an ad to Craigslist seeking a "HouseMILF."

We are a house of 10 men who all are seniors at UVM and are looking for an attractive older woman to come and cook for us every few days. In exchange she gets her pick of the men of the house to have.

Requirements aren't lengthy; be a woman older than 25 who can cook and would like to enjoy some hot sex with a number of fit 20 somethings. Hopefully you can come by every week for a meal and some play time. Obviously we can work to accommodate your schedule. ;)

We are located in Burlington, are a fun and clean group of guys, and are all 21+.

Pretty funny, right? Except that someone was offended enough to call the police, who investigated the ad as "possible solicitation." The police weren't able to find out who posted the ad, but they did determine that it was NOT a crime. Yes, justice prevailed, and the police aren't going to need to start bringing prostitution charges against every woman who has sex with a guy who buys her dinner.

Check out this response to the incident by Laurie Essig, a professor of gender studies.

I'd like to analyse a few choice comments from her post.

Essig: "Needless to say, they didn't get a lot of attention from the MILFs in Burlington …"

How, exactly, does Essig know whether or not the young men got many responses to their ad? As I noted above, the police weren't able to determine who posted the ad, because Craigslist doesn't release posters' identities. Ah, I get it. She wants to believe that no women would be interested in the young men's offer. Hilariously, however, several older women commented on Essig's post to say they found the idea quite appealing.

Essig: "I'm not trying to make light of the symbolic violence contained in the fraternity brothers' ad. All men who have mothers should know better than to talk about MILFs. And no men should imagine that women are here on earth to fulfill their needs, whether it's in the kitchen or in the bedroom."

Symbolic violence? How, exactly, was Essig able to extrapolate symbolic violence from an offer of consensual sex? Oh, I know. It's because the person(s) who posted the ad are (allegedly) men. In the minds of Essig's brand of feminism, male sexuality is violent by definition.

"These young men have probably been consuming MILF porn, with its images of somewhat older women who seem to take great pleasure in servicing the needs of men. This porn is fantasy and surely everyone but these young men understands that, but it is fantasy in the service of patriarchy."

Now this statement is really interesting. Clearly, Essig's assumption is that any woman having sex with a man is 'servicing' him. Somehow she missed the fact that the young men are offering sex in exchange for food.

Would Essig have had so much trouble understanding the ad if it had been posted by college women? Here's the ad again, identical except that the pronouns have been reversed.

We are a house of 10 women who all are seniors at UVM and are looking for an attractive older man to come and cook for us every few days. In exchange he gets his pick of the women of the house to have.

Requirements aren't lengthy; be a man older than 25 who can cook and would like to enjoy some hot sex with a number of fit 20 somethings. Hopefully you can come by every week for a meal and some play time. Obviously we can work to accommodate your schedule. ;)

We are located in Burlington, are a fun and clean group of girls, and are all 21+.

Would Essig have found any 'symbolic violence' in this ad? My guess is that she would have, and she would have thought the victims were the poor little college women, who had been exposed to so much objectification that they were willing to sexually degrade themselves in exchange for a hot meal. Double standard, much?

It's all pretty depressing. But check out some of the comments on Essig's post.

"forgive the menopausal harmones, wouldn't mind taking those boys up on their offer, if only for a few evenings. Young and hard, wow...."

"Everybody buys sex husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME. It is the human condition. If these beautiful young men would like some home cooked gravy, spaghetti and meatballs for a long hard one, well with some wine it sounds like an interesting evening. Maybe bring some lube so we can keep things comfortable, I don't see the problem."

"And another thing: not all older women are SHOCKED by the idea of being desired by college students. We're not all out for love and marriage and being socially acceptable. It's pretty patronising to assume that any woman who would take this offer up is a victim. I'm getting tired of this idea that women are supposed to be the moral gatekeepers to ward off sex-crazed men."

That's right, Essig! As distasteful as you may find it, some older women enjoy having sex with men. Now that they've been cleared by the police, I hope those young men have found a nice house MILF and they're enjoying some home-cooking and fun.